Once Light

"Once Light" was an assignment of my creative writing class.

I altered a little after.

The passages are blood-streaming through my veins of my body and my daily.

I freed the consciousness from stubborn cell and picked up all the messages I received from lyrics, articles, conversations, chit-chats, sounds and yells.

I was intentional to capture the glimpse of life as I tried to grabbed the silk of spider net, as I was willing to step in the zone of brightness, and as I documented the possible alternation of daily.

I climbed out of my nest

I hate this morning sunlight

that hit my face

or it is only because the eyeshade all night

I sat on the edge of bed

stretched my legs

cracked my neck

took a deep breath in

then stretched my body

and got up

turned on the teakettle

went to shower

took my daily nutrition powder

and pills

put on clothes

had bag

filled the necessary stuff

headphones in ears

out

got off the elevator

said

good morning

to her

as every morning usual

opened the door

went down the stairs

turned left

past two blocks

waited 30 seconds signal

down to the underground station.

Today would no delay

I think

even though sometime I couldn’t care that much

or think that much

might because get up earlier

no much people down here

Otherwise other times

no possible standing this spot

no possible getting off without

excuse me

then I was getting off the train

without

excuses

went up the stairs

pushed the revolving door

went up the stairs

I know it is effective as I am

I don’t know if I got back to the ground or that underground’s ground,

it is the ground

but I still walked on the way to school

as every day usual

today’s weather made me under the weather

shiny brightly

for the person who just finished

acne treatment

totally disaster

even closed eyes, it is still through

the thin eyelid

shot in,

into pink light

why human lost their ability to close the second eyelid

why is the present sunlight strong enough to

make me look small

why as I child,

the one could only get brighter I knew

is starlight

only because we would get closer?

then I grew

the starlight lay upon my face

let me find myself alone

so wonderful actually

to let me hang in the sunlight

until I am being blind

I can feel it

feel the sharp pain

as sunlight impacting face

I pray for the starlight could shine now

for they are closer as we are

they are near

but they will present my present

they will not present my present

to see them now

to hear you now

I can look outside myself

I must examine my breath then

look inside again

I can feel it, feel it, feel it, feel it…

I am like blind

I’m blind

I walked on this street like I’m blind

I couldn’t see anyone

only the tortua from sunlight reminds

warning I am still

the person is prostrate

always that human crawls the ground

it is right there

just cross this block.

Or I walked to that street side

no sunlight

undercover

hide in shadow

divide in your inside

as you stand above me

promising death

I walked alone on my side

the bled windows at my side

while eternity cycles wildly inside me

I pray

all floats away with decrescendo of

sorrow

in fact, they were gone

since I pressed the pause

I am in classroom

for so long I’ve been obeyed

under my world

I’ve always contained my desire to

control me

Tell me when I will be there

down to there to cut that line

Tell me when I will be there

divide to there to cut this string

hope there will be someone

can take care of my corpse

when I die, bury the dead

hope there is someone

can embrace me

when I am tired to set me free

I am scared of that place,

middle in light and nowhere

but please leave me there, leave me there

at least I could touch them, feel them

let my head have rest, rest it

please pray for me not paralyze in light

please pray for me not drown in void.

in 3 hours class

I bought a cup of hot tea and a box of salad

while the resting time

at second floor

when I back

checked messages

it said come here

I said why

he said no why

I said why said no why to ask me to come

she said come

I said no

they said come quickly

I said oh well, yea.

No one can stop me now

Their eyes are curling up under the

ground

Underneath the ground

I felt you calling up me in my gloom

rest assured, my love is pure.

God knows how I adore life

If the white turns on the branches lies another day

I can’t ask for more

When the time bell rings my here

I arose

the class over

today

said bye to friends

took a cab

to there

Then I came to the river

Then they came from the road

I wanted to know

Just to call my own

Then I walked on the watershed

Till I came up, up to close

Throw my pain in the river

Then I went without words

Then we walked with our lives

As we followed the river

As we followed the road

As we walked through this city

As I wanted the whole that makes me all

As the white light scattered

In this river.

Through the warmest

This river

Your love sent me

Do it with me

Or put it into me.

I am so close to tear

So close to there.

Dark and divide still strong

Beautifullest or fragilest

As I entered lightly

Restoring my blisses

While sharing my core to stay to go

nowhere

Miraculous cure inhale my youth’s spirit

Half awake, half asleep

We faint again

Into sleephood

Please inside me

The ecstatic vision of God

Across the ocean.

He will never return it.

So when you come back,

We will have to make a new love.

A brand new start.

Everett walked on and on

The sunset went down and down

Here is my desire

Coldness cooled it.

I walked on and on

The sunset went down and down

Here is my lust

Let’s build a fire.

To lift us higher, to lift us above.

All will know me.

All harms know me.

The place of love and mystery.

Let the show start.

It’s a sorry light.

Let the clouds roll.

Will there be a life to be found in this world.

Vertigo with me.

Lead me to the way to bed.

Through the crowds.

Through the white.

Through the every tree towered around.

Through my fantasy about them all.

Through my lust cuddled me up.

Through my breath on the neck.

Through the train’s wind blew my face.

Let me shelter in your bosom.

Let me hide in your hair.

Let me cover by.

This solar light.

Dear darkness.

Won't you cover me again?

Cover me from the sun,

from the words.

They are tightening my throat.

Hit me with the night.

Look inside my flesh.

With your eyes,

Moving my limbs.

Oh God.

Even though I have no belief in you.

But there

Nobody’s listening,

I don’t need much.

I just realized.

Eruptive lightning flutter to above,

This panting silence filled my empty of vault

Of night.

Sweet bed,

Even if you cannot compare to my bed in

home,

You are sweet enough.

I’ve got my heart.

Here in my bed now.

My self as well.

I’m gonna be born into the light.

Soon.

These are my seasons.

Cross winter to winter.

Autumn leaves,

Beauty has got a hold on me.

Shadows are drifting in silence.

These are my seasons.

Cross day to day.

Gather or spread,

Love won’t lend,

Loneliness as well.

These are

My stories from the city,

My histories from the sea.

In the end,

No matter what your memories or my history,

They would be just created by someone five

minutes ago.

Winter is over.

The season roll.

Us.

Farther.

Then.

Loveless

Summercold